The countdown

12 days until I go back to work
9 days until my first work-related conference call
7 days until I leave for Virginia
2 days until my massage appointment

and approximately 712 things I'd like to finish before I go back to work. It's time to revise and make a more realistic list of what I will finish before going back to work.

I have not taken nearly enough naps during my maternity leave and even now I am so utterly exhausted after being up most of the night with Luke. He's napping right now - has been for the last hour and a half. I tried laying down. I closed my eyes but my mind is racing and I assume I am over tired and/or running on caffeine. I am dreading the possibility that he will keep "sleeping" like this when I go back to work and I will be completely ineffective at my job. He will be waking up soon. I intend to avoid additional caffeine, not plan anything to do outside of the house for the rest of the day and the next time he naps, I hope to be napping right next to him.

Things I will miss

My little guy is only two months old and he's already stopped doing some of the unbelievable cute things he does. I'm afraid if I don't document those oh-so-sweet moments I may not remember them so easily. With my mommy brain, I've been losing everything lately. Can't.Lose.These.Memories.

* When he sneezes and then makes the funniest sound afterward - kind of a combination of an exaggerated sigh and a coo.
* I'm nursing him and he stops and smiles up at me
* His face gets all red when he poops (I hear I will have the pleasure of that one for a while)
* Speaking of poops, I am not looking forward to when they start to smell. really bad
* His crooked little smile (when he looks just like his Daddy)
* His little coos that he has just started
* He doesn't move around much so I can leave him in the middle of the bed and the most he can do is roll onto his side
* We can go out to a restaurant, plant his carseat next to us and enjoy our meal as he falls asleep
* Kicky kicky legs and little fidgety arms as he is trying furiously what to do with them
* When he hears my voice and smiles
* A little bundle of sleep as he naps on my chest
* Snuggling in bed with him in the morning when he's wide awake but I'm not quite ready
* The little face he makes when he doesn't want any more bottle. He purses his lips and shakes his head back and forth..."no more. Full"
* The priceless moment when he was sitting up, crossed his eyes and belched. (then spit up)
* He's grown out of his newborn clothes and size 1 diapers
* The little faces he makes in his sleep. He goes from happy to worried to scared to giggly. I'd love to know what he's thinking
* He stops crying when Daddy or I sing to him
* I will miss being at home with him all day - even though I am also looking forward to going back to work.

Of course there are a million more little moments and I will try oh so hard to remember each and every one.

I love this little guy SO much!

I'm back!

I don't know if there's any interest but I'm trying to finally get back to my blog. It's been a full two months since I've last posted and there's so much I want to write about. The most exciting thing is that last night Luke slept 4 hours, woke up to eat and then slept another 4 hours. I was positive there was something wrong with him because it wasn't his usual wake up every 2 hours...or every hour. Pete reminded me that one night doesn't make a trend but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he does it more often.

My little guy is just amazing. Yeah, he doesn't do much yet. There's a lot of sleeping and pooping and spitting up. He eats too. And....that's about it. Ok, not really. He has been smiling more lately and making those sickeningly sweet adorable cooing sounds. And just this week for the first time he actually grabbed and held on to one of his toys.

To be honest there hasn't been a whole lot to post in the last few months because I forget what it's like to get a full night's sleep. I know, I know...take a nap. But it's the rare day that his nap schedule coincides with when I want to take a nap so I'd say 95% of the time I go napless - and that's ok. He's so little and he doesn't do much but it's so difficult to get anything done around the house. (He's napping right now). If I'm going to do laundry in the basement I take the monitor downstairs with me and he starts crying every time. There are also the fussy days when he just wants to be held and what kind of mother doesn't want to hold her adorable baby? So there are days that Pete gets home and I haven't started dinner yet because the baby kept me from finishing anything. But I am proud of myself that since I came home from the hospital I have taken a shower every_single_day. So, yay me! I've made the bed almost every day and have been able to keep up with housework and laundry. The baby's laundry is insane. I don't know how such a little guy goes through so many clothes. When he was first born it was a contest to who had more outfit changes - him or me. I had every bodily fluid on me from him - blood, pee, poop, spit up. And surprisingly it hasn't grossed me out nearly as much as I thought it would. When he projectile pooped onto my leg I just laughed (and cleaned myself up). When he peed on Pete, it soaked through Pete's shirt and shorts and he had to take a shower. Too funny.

There are so many moments I am a living cliche and I find myself just staring at him and I am amazed I can love this person SO much. I can't think of anything I wouldn't do for him. There are no possessions or human organs that I wouldn't give up for him. Pete and I both make up little songs to sing to him.

So much for finishing this post uninterrupted. Will write more later.