Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Baby's first cold

Poor Luke. Poor Me and Poor Pete. I knew Luke would get sick. Rationally I knew that. And I knew that when one of us in the house got sick it would be very likely that all of us would get sick. But after over 8 months and Luke had never been sick (other than the ear infection from hell) I decided our baby had the best immune system ever. Then the snot nose happened. I admit I’ve always looked down on those kids who always have that crusty ring of dried snot around their nose. I wasn’t sure who I blamed more for those snot nosed kids – was it the child’s fault for producing such extreme amounts of snot and not wiping it away? Was it the parent’s fault for not wiping the nose often enough or for allowing their child to even get sick in the first place? How I wish I could have had some perspective back then. Yes, I am an adult and I know how to blow my own nose and poor Luke is an 8 ½ month old (heh who would have thought I would go from measuring his age from weeks to half months?) who has no concept of blowing his nose. Are either of us to blame? Of course not. And I am the proud parent of a snot nosed kid. He is very creative in his snot distribution. He sneezes, it oozes, he sprays. He has also perfected the art of snot bubbles. They are those perfect little bubbles of snot that unexpectedly appear out of his nose and then disappear just as quickly as soon as you find something to wipe his nose with. Even when the snot is wiped away somehow that snotty film remains behind underneath his nose. We also found that snot film on his cheek, forehead and a number of other places I didn’t expect. And you can use the softest tissues in all of creation and he acts like you are wiping his nose with a porcupine foot. He screams when you are wiping his nose. He cries because he’s congested and he whines because he doesn’t feel well. Poor baby. My heart breaks when I hear him coughing and then he cries because it must have hurt him to cough. He used to giggle when I used the booger sucker on his nose. Now when I pull that turkey baster to clear up his baby sinuses he screams and wrestles. I don’t know where this baby gets his crazy strength from. It takes me and Pete holding him down to try to get some of those boogers out. Yes, two grown adults weighing in at a combined weight in excess of 300 pounds struggle to subdue a less than 20 pound infant.

The good news is that Luke is feeling better. And Pete is feeling better. The bad news is I am still sick. And miserable. And whiney.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Milestones

It seems like his milestones always happen in bursts. For days he’s just going through life being a cute baby and nothing changes and then BAM! All of a sudden it’s like there’s a new baby in the house. My little guy is growing so fast. In the last week we’ve had three milestones. Talking, standing and teething.

I’ve been saying Luke is going to have a tooth pop out any day for, oh about the last 5 months. I’ve gotten so used to the drooling and the putting everything in his mouth that I’ve stopped thinking it would happen. But now, here I am, back on the Luke is teething train. My only new evidence is his unexplained crying and fussiness last night. When the baby who always sleeps through the night wakes up an hour after he went to sleep and is screaming/crying/really pissed off I assumed he had another ear infection. Or maybe he had a nightmare. He wouldn’t stop crying. I was having flashbacks to the night of no sleep when he had his ear infection. I rocked. I walked. I hovered. I tried to put him down again. I gave him to Pete to try all the same things and nothing was working. While I tried to console Luke again, Pete searched the tubes for research. Hmmm… several parents write about how their perfect little sleepers suddenly stopped being able to sleep through the night because all of a sudden they were teething and quite miserable. They say it’s worse at night and to try the usual remedies for teething. We took out the teething ring from the freezer and he went to town on it. He took it out and screamed again. Put it back in and silence. It was a crazy experiment and it worked. But then the teether wasn’t cold anymore. We used a bit of baby orajel and I rocked him and he fell asleep. I felt guilty for being happy that he fell asleep in my arms and I held him there for awhile looking down at that angelic (non-screaming) face. I finally put him back in his crib and he slept the rest of the night with no more crying episodes. I hope he doesn’t repeat tonight. Not because it’s annoying – I think we know what to do but I just hate seeing him upset and in pain.

For about two weeks now Luke has been babbling more than normal. But now instead of pure gibberish he seemed to be making the sounds he wanted to. That is if he wanted to keep saying “ba ba ba” Or maybe he was saying “Bob” or maybe he really likes the group “Abba.” Whatever it was, he was saying it a lot. And then on Wednesday Pete said he heard him say “Mama” but since I didn’t hear it, it didn’t count (my rule – not Pete’s) and then I heard it. But since Pete didn’t hear it, I still didn’t think it counted. So on Sunday we both heard it – together – more than once. Yup, he’s saying “Mama” and even though I logically know he isn’t saying Mama to mean Me, it’s still sweet to hear. I read that he won’t say Mama thinking he’s calling/talking to me for about another month. And I thought his first word would be “poop.”

A few weeks ago Pete told me that his mom had mentioned we should lower the crib. I was ambivalent about it. Luke seemed nowhere close to being able to stand on his own or pull himself up – plus I had no idea on how to lower the dang mattress anyway. So if Pete lowered it, fine. And if he didn’t lower it, that was fine with me too. Until last night. I was in the kitchen making dinner when I heard Pete shriek (hee hee). I ran into his room and I saw Pete in the hallway holding Luke and he told me that Luke was standing in his crib and all he would have had to do was lean over and he would have been flat on the floor. So Pete lowered the crib mattress last night. And unless Luke is an acrobat, he can’t fling himself out of the crib now.

This isn’t really a milestone but it is a fight to get him to drink his bottle. It happened a little over a week ago and all the charts say he should be drinking a minimum of 24 ounces a day at this age but I battle to get him to drink 20. Some days he maybe gets 24. He seems to be eating ok but it’s so hard to get him to drink his bottle. I hope this is a phase and that it passes soon.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Things I don't miss

Everything is a phase. I am living the phrase that everything is a phase related to having a baby. Some phases are good and I wish they lasted longer but other phases last too long and I can’t wait until they are over. I think I even block some of these phases from my memory. Now I’d like to celebrate the phases that Luke has grown out of:
1. Cradle cap
Luke had a gross flakey scaly reptilian head that grossed me out. I remember putting olive oil on his head and combing and brushing the flakes off his scalp. Ewww.
2. Blocked tear ducts
I wiped so many gummy, nasty tear goop from my baby’s eyes (especially his left eye for some reason) and some times the poor kid couldn’t even open his eyes because they were crusted shut when he woke up. We saw a specialist who said if it didn’t clear up by 10 months, he may need a surgical procedure. Luckily they cleaerd up on their own.
3. Super spit up
All babies spit up. Just like the bibs and baby onesies say “spit happens.” But Luke used to spit up A LOT. I’m talking change a bib every 15 minutes, soak a burp rag, nasty spit up. The doctor said it was fine but I am relieved that he has what I consider normal spit up now and he doesn’t have to wear a bib 24/7.
4. Newborn sleeping patterns
I don’t miss Luke having to wake up every 3 hours so he could eat. Also there was a poop diaper every time he woke up, which brings us to..
5. Super poops
Newborn poop supposedly doesn’t smell. Babies poop smells worse after they start eating solid food. I guess that’s the trade off for having to change about 8-10 newborn poopy diapers a day which are all the consistency of ranch dressing and colors ranging from green, yellow, and of course brown which somehow explodes no matter how carefully the diaper is fastened. I love the days when Luke poops once a day and it is contained within the diaper.
6. Newborn fingernails
His little newborn nails were so fragile and thin and….bendy. I was petrified to cut them with nail clippers. I tried and he squirmed and I think maybe he could tell how anxious I was because he squirmed even more so I didn’t cut his nails, I filed them. Then the nanny started watching him and she cut them (even better!) but now I can actually cut his nails and it doesn’t feel like I’m trying to cut jell-o.

I thought this might be a top 10 list but I can’t really think of other things I disliked. Now give me a list of the things I love and hope he doesn’t ever grow out of and that may take much longer.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

How holiday parties will be different now

I fear, no - I KNOW, that I have turned into one of those moms. You know, the ones who love to talk about their child. I try not to do it all the time. For example, I rarely tell baby stories or force people to look at baby pictures to my coworkers. If I’ve had barely any sleep or there is a particularly entertaining story, I may tell a story about Luke. Anyway, my group at work had our annual Football outing yesterday. It was the 8th annual Turkey Bowl – which entails our group leaving the office shortly after lunch, going to a field in the park and playing touch football with some beer on the sidelines and then going to a bar afterwards for appetizers and drinks. Pete had Luke duty after work so I could participate in the Turkey Bowl. My participation did not involve me actually playing on the field – more like showing up late and taking pictures and then going to the bar later. I had told Pete I would be home by 8:00 and he had warned me not to drink too much because he didn’t want to have to pick me up. So my night out consisted of two beers and a margarita shot and the majority of my conversations were with other parents and we talked about our kids and kid related things. I was home by 7:15 and I found I really really missed Luke. Thankfully he seemed really happy to see me which totally made my night. It is a far cry from my nights of going out after work in my 20’s (or even early 30’s) and the wonderful part about it is that I didn’t miss it at all.

So one company outing down and three more to go. I’m not even sure if I’ll attend all three - especially if it impacts me getting home to see Luke before he goes to bed.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

My baby is 8 months old!

This was a month with several milestones. You celebrated your first Halloween, first parade, first fever and first ear infection. You are eating more in both quantity and variety of foods. You took your second plane ride on a trip to Virginia to visit family and you “hiked” on the Shenandoah Mountain. While in Virginia, you added two more states to where you’ve visited. We drove through Maryland and stopped in Harrisburg, PA to meet your Auntie Kristen at Monkey Joe’s. So far you’ve been to Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Virginia, Maryland and Pennsylvania.

You are still so happy almost all the time (except when you had your ear infection and you cried and screamed all night long) and we love finding new things to make you laugh. Some of your favorite things that you find hysterical are:
Dad dancing
Whenever Samson walks in the room
Whatever the cat is doing
Bouncing or running down the hallway (especially if it’s after the dog)
Squeezing your fat baby thighs
Blowing raspberries
Silly faces and voices
When your toys squirt water in the tub

Some of your favorite toys are your Fisher Price phone, still love the piano/xylophone, tool bench, dad’s keyboard, standing and leaning on your Leap Frog table, bouncing in your exersaucer and eating books. You get very intense when you’re playing with your toys and you can stay fixated with one toy for about a half hour.

You have a toddler tub now which is a giant blow up duck that sits inside the bathtub and you LOVE it! It looks much more fun than being cramped in that little infant tub that fit in the kitchen sink.

You’ll be celebrating your first Thanksgiving soon (which is your dad’s absolute favorite holiday.) No turkey for you, but I’ll make sure to save you some applesauce, mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes.

Your hair is growing in funny and both your dad and I agree it’s time for your first haircut. We haven’t yet decided who will be the lucky barber but we are not big fans of the weird bangs you have going on and the goofy old man comb over in the back.

I love coming home from work because I can’t wait to see you. You smile when I walk into the room and even though you are already snuggling with me less and less as you get older, I treasure every moment you let down your guard and continue to be my little infant son. Sometimes I look at you and you look like a little boy – not a baby. But don’t worry, you will ALWAYS be my baby. Love you, Luke!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Late 7 Month Letter to Luke

Dear Luke,
I want to write something to you each month about how you’re changing and growing but a lot of my goals get a little sidetracked. So, here we are only a few days before you are 8 months old and I’m finally writing your 7 month letter. Ooops. I will try to only address things related to you from 6 months to 7 months. I remember sitting down and talking to your dad about those changes we’d seen in you and now I just need to try to recall them all.

I’m rereading my letter to you at 6 months as a frame of reference. Ok, much better now. Of course I have tons of things to write for your 8 month letter, but let me address your 7th month first!

You and Deano finally noticed each other! One day it’s like you both looked around and thought “Huh. There’s a baby in the house.” and “Huh look, there’s a cat.” Deano is so unbelievably patient and curious. You like to grab fistfuls of cat hair and the cat just looks ta me barely squirming on my lap. The first time it happened, I wasn’t even holding Deano, he just kind of sat with us on the couch. You pulled his hair and he just looked at you like “Really???” but sat there until you did it a few times and then without a hiss or snarl, he simply walked away showing you he had enough. When he walks in the room you almost always smile at him – but he doesn’t always smile back at you.

You are sleeping and eating about the same. You are such a great baby who still sleeps through the night and I know how very lucky we are for you to continue to do that! You just started eating some finger foods like Cheerios and tiny cut up pieces of banana. You like oatmeal better than rice cereal so that’s what we keep feeding you. I think you’ve eaten all of the normal baby foods available in the fruit and veggie department and luckily there don’t seem to be any allergies or reactions.

You love bath time and I bought you a new inflatable duck tub that sits in the big bathtub and it’s nice and soft and cushy for you to lean against. You’re too big to get a bath in the sink any more. You have yet to get tired of being in the tub and want to get out. I think I always take you out before you’re ready – but you never cry or complain about it. I love that just washed so sweet baby smell. I think I will use Johnson’s baby shampoo forever. No more tears and a great smell – why not?? So far the only bath toys you play with are your little squirty toys. The duckies, fish and octopus are your favorites (I just have to remember to squeeze ALL of the water out after each bath so we don’t end up with moldy squirt toys.)

You started sitting up much better and are almost sitting up all by yourself. You like to lean on a toy or two for support still. Some of your favorite toys this month are your Baby Einstein music cube, your baby workbench and you still love the piano/xylophone combo.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Add another sticker to his suitcase

Luke is 7 months old but I think he’s been to more states than I visited by the time I was 10. He was born in Illinois and at 3 months rode in a plane to visit family in Virginia, at 4 months old we took an 8 hour road trip to Kentucky, at 5 months old we went to Indiana for a party (ok, I know Indiana isn’t far away, but it’s still another state!) and then at 7 months old he took another plane ride to Virginia. Yeah it’s a state he’s been to before but he is now a seasoned air traveler. We approached security like the pros we are and I even took off his baby shoes before they asked me to. When people asked if I needed help because I was traveling alone with a baby, I was able to confidently thank them and wave aside the offer as we proceeded through the airport. The trip was a breeze! He slept the entire time and when we landed I even managed to wrangle two suitcases (on wheels of course), the stroller with the car seat and the diaper bag up the ramp to curbside pickup where my mom and dad were just pulling up. The flight home was more of a headache since we were delayed due to crazy 50 mile per hour winds. Luke’s schedule was off, his ears hurt, he finished his bottle and the flight attendants had to be seated because the turbulence was so bad so I couldn’t get water for another bottle for him. He fussed and whined and clung to me – even though I had a perfectly good carseat for him to sit in next to me. The turbulence was terrible and I was glad to have him to hold onto as I furiously rocked him trying to hide the plane’s instability within the comforting arms of his mama. I was so glad when we landed.

We had a great trip and visited the Shenandoah mountains, had a sleepover with my nieces, visited my grandmother, had a family dinner, went to see my niece dance at her school’s football halftime show and the trip was over way too soon. When I planned the trip it seemed like we would be there so long and it was really over before I was ready. It was good to come home and of course Luke and I missed Pete. It was a bitter sweet trip because as much as I love my home and where I live and my friends and family here, it’s tough having my family so far away. I loved seeing my mom playing on the floor with Luke and making him laugh and giggle. I know my brother, sister-in-law and nieces would be visiting and be a part of Luke’s day to day (or week to week) life – similar to how I was a part of my nieces’ lives when I lived in Virginia. I know Luke will still be close to them but it will need to be different. There will be some family vacations so he can get to know them. I hope my parents will continue to come visit him – especially as he’s younger because he really does change so quickly. I can’t wait for my parents to come visit at Christmas – even though I know it will be more memorable for me and my parents than it will be for Luke. When Luke gets older I can see him spending a week or two in Virginia hanging out with my family. We’ll set up our Skype account and do web chats. I will continue to post Luke videos on You Tube so those who are interested can watch him grow.

I think the next states Luke will visit will probably be part of a road trip to North Carolina this summer. I can’t wait for Luke to visit the Outer Banks!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Happy Halloween and Unhappy Fever

Luckily Luke celebrated Halloween a little early. He has an ear infection and was too sick to go trick-or-treating on Sunday. But he went to a Halloween party on Friday morning and we went to the Halloween parade on Saturday morning so I think he was around enough Halloween shenanigans – especially since he won’t remember anything about his first (or second…or third…) Halloween. He was pretty darn adorable as a pumpkin thanks to Grandma D. I don’t know if this picture from the Halloween party can accurately portray the cute overload going on with so many cute babies in one place with the great costumes. I think the cheeseburger was awesome (as were all the other costumes as well!)



And he was super warm at the parade in his monkey costume thanks to Auntie Georgia.



He was going to be spaghetti and meatballs on Sunday similar to this picture. But Luke was going to sit in a giant cooking pot.




But he had a fever on Sunday morning and we saw it go from 100.2 on Sunday morning to 102.1 on Monday morning. I’d heard it was common for infants to get a fever and I wasn’t terribly worried in the beginning. I had left the details of his costume until last minute and I still had to go to the store on Sunday to finish making his Sunday costume. But once we knew he had a fever, Pete and I agreed there would be no trick or treating for him – so why go to the store and work on a costume he wouldn’t be using? I knew I could spend my time better by staying in and worrying. We were only going to go up and down our block and one block south anyway and I felt a little guilty about asking for candy for a baby who clearly would not be eating any candy. Once it was determined that he’d be staying in…and we saw his fever go up, he began to act more and more miserable. He had never had a fever before and it was amazing how obvious it was to feel his skin and know he had a fever. Poory guy was burning up! There had been many times that I wondered if he had a fever and tested it with the thermometer. Now that I KNOW what a fever feels like, I can’t believe I had tested it so many times before.

As the night wore on, the fever got worse - as did his pain and his mood went in the crapper. He would not lie down in his crib. He would not eat. He would not sleep. He would barely take a bottle. What he could do very well is scream. And cry. And whine. And hit. The closest we could get to comforting him is holding him upright so his head was against your shoulder and swaying. You had to keep moving or he would cry. If you tried to sit down, he would cry. I figured out a cool move where I would continue swaying/rocking as I squatted to sit down and once I sat I had to keep moving in order to trick him. So then I was sitting and rocking and he would sometimes close his eyes a bit and be silent – for about 10 minutes until he jerked and woke himself up and started screaming. I figured out how to kinda sorta sleep in 10 minute stretches while sitting on the couch and rocking. Pete and I took turns holding him but then Luke got to the point that he only wanted Mama and didn’t calm down very much with Pete. I think I got about an hour and a half sleep combined on Sunday night and Pete maybe got 2 hours. Then he got in about an hour and a half nap on Monday morning. I worked from home and we kept giving him baby Tylenol every 4 or 5 hours which helped his mood a little bit. I was able to get into the doctor that day at 1:00 and she confirmed our guess that he had an ear infection and prescribed antibiotics. As soon as we opened the bottle I had flashbacks of that bubblegum smelling pink stuff I remember taking as a kid. He actually got some sleep last night. He slept from 7:30 until we woke him up at 12:30 a.m. Poor kid. I felt terrible waking up the little guy and shoving this medicine in his mouth hoping if we did it quickly he might fall back asleep. No such luck. He was one pissed off baby. It made me think about alien abductions as we tiptoed into his room, took him out of bed, shoved something icky in him and thought we could tiptoe back out. He screamed. And screamed. And screamed some more. I held him and rocked him and he finally fell back asleep again. But now I was so distraught that I couldn’t sleep. I was up until about 2:00 a.m. and back up again at 5:00 a.m. I called to check in with Grace and he is doing well today. He’s taking his bottle and eating and he was taking a nap when I called. Antibiotics area wonderful wonderful thing.

So poor Luke is on the mend. Now mom and dad just need to get back on track. I can’t imagine how:
a) single parents handle a sick child
b) how any parent handles more than one child being sick at the same time
c) being a sick parent and having to take care of a sick child
d) how to handle a child who is sick more than 2 nights in a row.
I’m sure we’ll get the hang of things and the next time he has a fever or an ear infection (because I think it’s appropriate to say “when” and not “if”) we’ll be a little better prepared on what to expect.

I think Pete described it pretty accurately when he said that “Luke cried more in 24 hours than he did since he was born.”

Get better, Luke and Halloween will be better next year!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Luke: "Look at my cool new toy!"
Tommy: "Wow! That's pretty neat. Can I play with it?"



Luke: "NO! My toy! My toy!"
Tommy: "Please?"


Luke: "Hey! Where'd my toy go???"

What happens when you don't get enough sleep

Where have I been? I’m here…just busy busy busy. I went to a wedding on Sunday night and I am still running on a sleep deficit. Where is my sleep bank and can I take out a withdrawl? I need some sleep. I got three hours of sleep on Sunday night and slept ok Monday night but I was up multiple times last night panicking about work spreadsheets and I had a dream that Keith was mad at me because I didn’t come over and see their new dog. (?) The weekend before was a bachelorette party which was a blast but also got me home late and Luke doesn’t really care what time I get to bed. He wakes up when he wakes up. I didn’t really ever catch up from last weekend’s minimal sleep and I started the silly sleep patterns again. At least last weekend after 2 hours of sleep, I took a 3 hour nap during the day.

Through this sleepiness I am still functioning ok. And we’ve only had one almost casualty. Rewind to Monday afternoon at about 3:30 p.m. I get a phone call from our Nanny, Grace. She hardly ever calls me at work so immediately I panic – especially when I hear the tone in her voice. It’s the oh-no-something-is-wrong voice. Samson’s gone. Samson is our 2 ½ year old 70 pound silly labradoodle. He was my baby before Luke was born. During the weeks that Grace and the kids are at our house, Grace lets Samson outside in the back fenced/gated in area of our back “yard” (it’s not really a yard since it’s slate and not grass) and he hangs outside and barks when he wants to come in. Apparently he barked some and Grace was in the middle of putting both boys to bed and by the time she went to let Samson in He.Was.Gone. Gone. Nowhere to be found. There are two gates in the back and one was slightly open. This was the gate we used when we took the baby and the dog for a walk on Sunday afternoon and we went out the back so we wouldn’t have to maneuver the stroller up and down stairs. This was the gate that we didn’t quite latch all the way. Grace wasn’t sure exactly how long he’d been gone and since she had to stay with the sleeping babies she couldn’t exactly go looking for him. I told her I’d call someone to help and call her back. I called my next door neighbor, Julia, who used to dog walk Samson when he was a puppy. I was praying she would be home because a) she knows Samson b) Samson loves her and c) she knows the area. Thankfully she was home and she agreed to help. I also called ym sister-in-law, Marci who was on her way over. Within minutes Julia was out the door and driving around looking for him. We live one block South of a busy street and I was dreading that was where he went. Oh, and did I mention the cherry on top of this miserable sundae? He wasn’t wearing his collar. Yes, I am the terrible, horrible dog owner who didn’t have a collar on her beloved pet so anyone who found him wouldn’t know he was a beloved pet with owner contact information and proof that he had his rabies shots. I think the bandana he wears would be indicative of him being a pet and not a stray but maybe someone would think he was just a very fashionable stray. We let Samson sleep on the floor in our bedroom and Pete takes his collar off at night so it doesn’t make any noise when he’s circling the floor fifteen thousand times before curling up in a ball to sleep. Running on my three hours of sleep I forgot to put his collar back on in the morning. Bad dog owner. Fast forward to Samson running free…somewhere. Julia started by driving towards the park where we usually walk him. But luckily she changed her mind and thought he’s probably more safe running loose in the park than he would be running loose on a busy street so she turned around and drove down North Avenue. About five blocks down and she saw him sitting in the grass with a woman who was on the phone. Who was this woman calling? Well, she couldn’t be calling the dog owner – because Samson had no identification. Yup, she was calling Animal Control. (insert dramatic music here) Julia approached her and explained the situation (that she is the neighbor of the dog owner) and the woman filled her in on how she found Samson. Apparently Samson thought it would be a great idea to go into the Laundromat. Maybe his bandana needed to be cleaned. We don’t know for sure. But we think he was attracted to the sound of the kids inside the Laundromat – the kids who are AFRAID OF DOGS. So in bounds Samson jumping and happy to be greeted with screams of shock and horror from the children. Some adults less afraid of dogs than the children are (but still a little afraid) are pushing laundry carts in between confused Samson and the poor shrieking children. Luckily, our hero of the afternoon, appropriately named, Hope, sees the scene and walks in because she said she could tell he was a good dog. Samson was relieved to be around someone nice – someone who wasn’t afraid of his big dopey self. She gave him some water and was calling Animal Control when our other hero of the day, Julia, arrived. Samson was safely returned home. He was exhausted by his adventure and spent the next few hours napping. So, I’m glad somebody in the house is getting enough sleep!


Monday, September 27, 2010

Adventures in babysitting

This was not Luke's first time with a babysitter. This wasn't even a real babysitter. This was not a stranger or some unknown person. Luke was being watched by Pete's sister - Luke's Auntie Marci. So why was I still nervous beforehand? Pete and I went to see Chelsea Handler perform downtown. Getting the tickets seemed like a good idea when they went on sale and I ordered them almost 2 months ago. But as the day got closer I had serious misgivings. What if he pulled his crazy screaming fit after he goes to bed? What if he doesn't want to eat? What if he gets a fever? What if something terrible happens???
Earlier that day Luke and I were at a baby shower. He didn't get his normal naps in his crib. He kindofsortof napped in the car and a little bit at the shower but that's it. So then I was worried about how cranky and irritable he would be since he was off schedule. When I got home from the shower I had about 20 minutes to get ready. I needed to finish cleaning up, change out of the pants I was wearing because he threw up on me, change his pukey outfit, pump, get his pajamas ready, get his food and bottle ready and whatever other running around I needed to do. I was stressing out and tried pumping and only got less than one ounce. I was so frazzled from everything and afraid we would be late and not have time to eat before the show and Marci assured me she had a handle on everything (which I knew she did but I wanted to leave things as easy for her as possible) and I got his food ready, told her where his pajamas were and we left the house. I resisted the urge to call and check in on him. She sent us an adorable picture of him eating. We ate dinner, went to the show and called when we were on our way home. After we got home as Marci was telling us how the night went apparently Luke screamed right after we left when she was trying to feed him his cereal. And that's when it hit me - I.Never.Said.Goodbye.To.Him.Before.We.Left. I felt like the worst mom ever because in my rush to get everything ready before we left the last I had seen my little guy was when he was asleep right before I started my frenzy of running around.

I always say goodbye to him in the mornings (even if he's alseep) and always at night when he goes to bed. I don't know how I slipped up such an important thing. I am just relieved that this thought didn't occur to me when we were still out. I would have felt frantic to rush home.

So the worrying was for nothing. Luke had a great night with Auntie Marci and Uncle Scottie. And Pete and I had a nice night out.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Happy Half Birthday, Luke!

Dear Luke,
Six months, half a year. Wow. Half a year has flown by so fast. I can also hardly remember what life was like without you. There are so many wonderful things that you’ve brought to our lives and I am so blissfully sappingly forever grateful. Just this weekend I was able to experience one of my favorite things – having you fall asleep in my arms. For some reason when we’re home, you don’t want to sleep in my arms – you’d much rather sprawl out in your crib with your froggy grasped against your cheek and your glow worm soothing you nearby. But we weren’t home for some of your naps and you snuggles right up to me and zonked out. After falling asleep on my shoulder I was able to reposition you in a cradle hold in my arms. You grasped my shirt in your little fist and slept that deep wonderful sleep of an infant. There were screeching children around us and you were oblivious. And I felt so content and maternal and in awe of you. Those are the little snapshot moments I want to always remember. We love the new voice sounds you’re making. Sometimes you trill and gargle and squeal and sound like anything but a baby. We’re trying to teach you how to say ba-ba, da-da and ma-ma but you haven’t had any success imitating those sounds yet. You sometimes stare at us making fools of ourselves with these new sounds and we watch you watch us…moving your tiny lips and mouth to make the right sound – but no sound comes out yet. I feel like I can see that baby brain working though.

You’re eating so much and you clearly have food preferences as well as foods you can not stand to eat at all. Like green beans. OOooo. Not a fan of green beans. I was too stubborn to allow you to not eat them. I knew you were hungry so I kept shoveling it in. And you saved up every drop of those green beans without swallowing them and proceeded to blow raspberries at me. The spray of green bean juice was everywhere! Green beans stained your [ants, my pants, my shirt, face, the tablecloth. Argh. No. More. Green. Beans. I got the picture! But bananas and apples are your favorite. You also really like your cereal and you act like my little baby bird opening your mouth and looking for that next morsel. I try to keep you busy while you’re eating and hand you your own spoon. It’s so cute to watch the synchronized spoon movements as you move your spoon to your mouth as I’m moving my spoon to your mouth. But if I allow you full spoon control you unknowingly gag yourself so I have to wrestle it away from you.

I can’t believe how strong you are. That baby grip is nearly impossible to break – whether you have a grip on a toy, my hair, a necklace, whatever. I’m surprised I don’t have bruises.

You’re also developing your own personality and you like to make your desires known. Well, you like to make your displeasure known is more like it. You are almost always pleasant and I could not ask for a more smiley happy baby. You love playing with your toys abut if I take away one of your favorite toys, oooo, you are one angry cranky baby! The two new examples of your favorite toys are your drum and your xylophone/piano toys. I guess you’re just my little musical baby. I love it.

You went with us to some friends’ houses this weekend and you’re not afraid of strangers yet. You love our dog, Samson but don’t care for or seem interested in our cat, Deano.

I love watching you grow and change and I’m excited to watch you grow up. I have a feeling the second half of your life will be much more exciting than the first. First Halloween and first Christmas are way more exciting than first Easter and first Independence Day. :)

Friday, September 17, 2010

Coming out of a fog

I actually wrote this on Monday earlier this week and never posted it...

I’m starting to feel more like myself again – for several reasons. First off this terrible cold is finally starting to break. Bad timing had me sick while my niece was visiting. She was so sweet to put up with my sniffling, coughing and whining. We went to get makeovers at Benefit and I also apologized to the girl doing my makeup for my cold (she worked wonders on covering up my red nose!) I still have that groggy sleepy thing going on and am a little light headed – but nothing like yesterday when I felt like I would faint from walking up the stairs. The second reason for coming out of a fog is that my diagnosis of post partum depression (PPD) seems to have leveled off. Thank goodness for drugs! I’ve been on Zoloft for about 6 weeks now and after experimenting with dosages I think we found the right amount and I feel like me again. The odd thing was that the PPD didn’t start until Luke was about 4 months old and I thought (mistakenly) that if you were going to get it, it would start right after the baby was born. I recently read otherwise and that it’s very common to get it at 4 months. I think there may have been a combination of life stresses that kicked the PPD into high gear as well. A huge immense thank you to my husband, Pete, for noticing what was going on with me and urging me to see my doctor. My doctor has been amazing and also thanks Pete because she says not enough husbands are aware of PPD or know how to handle it. Luckily I think I got in very early and kept it from spiraling. I will likely stay on the medication until springtime unless I have side effects or a reason to discontinue.

I am now at the point that I can acknowledge what’s going on and look back on how I felt. I was not in a happy place. I had this incredible magnificent little boy in my life and I couldn’t fully appreciate him. I would go through the motions and say the right things and do what I was supposed to do but I was absent. I would sit there and talk to him and he would coo back at me but I would find that I was zoning out and had totally missed out because I was staring blankly at who knows what for who knows how long. He was always safe and I never felt any urge to hurt him or me. But I was in a haze and a cloud and it is such a cliché description but it is so true. In the midst of these fogs were frighteningly scary panic attacks that left me gasping for breath and unsure of what was happening. I think one of my worst moments was when I was at work but I was convinced that feeding Luke milk I pumped would make him sick. Some part of me knew this was a little irrational but had moments when I was 100% sure that since I was depressed, if he had my milk, it would make him ill. It got to the point that I was just going to stop pumping at work. I also spent some time looking for proof by googling “depression and sick babies” but I never found anything. Finally, I convinced myself that even though I thought it was bad for Luke, I would pump anyway and then talk to Pete about it when I got home and we’d test if the milk was sour. Or something. I don’t know what my plan was but I did what I needed to do and after I actually pumped, I did feel better and realized how nutty and delusional my thinking was. I had to check out and try not to stress out. I will probably still have some bad days here and there but I feel confident that I know what’s going on and I know my limits. I used to panic about not pumping enough and what if he needs to drink formula? I am now ok with him having formula if he needs it. Me stressing out about him not having enough to eat will only result in me producing less – so the sooner I acknowledge it’s ok for him to have formula, the better we’ll all feel.

Friday, September 10, 2010

a little bit of this...a little bit of that

I'm all over the place today.

I haven't written on my blog in a week. I've been trying to get back to writing daily but I'm just proud if I manage once a week. And that's OK.

I'm not working today. It's not an I'm working from home day - it's an honest to goodness I'm not working at all today kind of day. I slept in...well, kind of. Luke woke up at 3:00 am and talked to himself for awhile and I left him alone and he fell back asleep. Then he woke up for good at 5:00 am. How come on the days I have to go to work, I have to wake him up - sometimes at 6:30 but the day I can sleep in, he's wide awake and hungry. So I got up and fed him and laid down on the bed in the spare bedroom with him hoping he'd fall back asleep so I could also fall back asleep but no such luck. He's just discovered my face lately. Well, discovered that it's fun to pull my nose, stroke my cheek, bop me in the forehead, etc. He broke one of my favorite necklaces last night (not broken forever. Pete should be able to fix it) and I guess it's my own fault because I should know better than to wear any jewelry around a six month old. But I did nap from about 5:30 to 6:45 so I guess that counts as sleeping in.

Luke has his 6 month pediatrician appointment today. Oh.My.Goodness. Seriously. SIX MONTHS? Already? Yeah, my little man is half a freakin year old already. As far as I can tell (from my wealth of knowledge gained from baby books and mom blogs) he is developmentally on track. I'll let the doctor confirm today. He babbles and is learning to make new sounds. He eats...sometimes. Lately he's decided he doesn't really want to eat solid food and he'll begrudgingly eat his cereal but that's about it. Does.Not.Like.Carrots. Not one little bit. We tried to reintroduce him to peas but nah, no thanks. Even tried bananas (the best fruit ever) and he passed on that. Oh well. He's getting everything he needs from the breast milk and he'll eat when he needs to I guess. I keep trying though. He's not sitting up on his own yet. He's not crawling but he does the army crawl scooching thing which is pretty cute. I don't mind him being immobile for a bit longer. He's given up his pacifiers and he sucks his thumb like a champ.

Last weekend was great. Got to visit Colleen, spend time with Luke's Grandma and Grandpa (and his Great Grandma and Uncle Freddie). We went to the Taste of Melrose Park which was super yummy and the best place to people watch EVER. I was expecting the Real Housewives of NJ and the Situation, Snooki and every other Italian stereotype reality star to bump into us. The food was so good. The highlights were these artichoke puffs, fried zucchini, best italian ice ever and this weird ground beef, cheese, rice thing which was then in some breading and fried. Oh wow. That was good. We didn't do much of anything at all on Labor Day even though we had the best of intentions. I was feeling so sick and I could do much of anything. I did take a nap which was heaven and Luke decided to be cranky for the majority of the day (and I got to sleep through part of it - yay for Pete!)

I am super excited about this weekend. Started yesterday with donuts and my fantasy football league draft was last night. Fanta wha???? I never thought I'd participate in fantasy anything. Well maybe final fantasy...or reading a fantasy sci fi book but not fantasy SPORTS. It's part of my whole "try to do something outside of your comfort zone" thing. And this is way outside my comfort zone. But it's a girl's league and it sounds fun. Plus I need to start preparing myself for being the mom to a little BOY who will probably like sports (he will like sports because Pete and I do not like sports. that's how these things go) and I may as well learn now. So, yeah I'm on a fantasy football league and I think we got a good team.

I'm spending the morning lounging around and eating caramels. No! But I am relaxing while getting ready for my niece to come visit. Caitlin is coming! Caitlin is coming! I am excited and we are going to have a blast. I love that kid and it's so weird to think that I was around Caitlin's age now when she was born - so she's looking at Luke like I used to look at her (not sure if that makes sense). It's also weird because he's her cousin but she will be more like an auntie to him. We're going to do yoga, get makeovers in Bucktown, go shopping in Andersonville (hi Emily!) go to the block party, go to church, hit the Harrison St art fest and hopefully the Renegade Craft fair as well. Whew! I hope I'm not packing too much into 2 1/2 days but there's so much going on this weekend that I think she'd enjoy.

Luke's getting his 6 month pictures taken today. I hope it's a better experience than at JC Penney's. We're going to Picture People and when I asked them how much time to allow they said an hour. Which is a far cry than the 15 minutes JCP tried to get his pictures done in. I have 3 outfits picked out for him. And yes, one of them is a sailor suit. hahahhahahah. I crack myself up.

Here's to a great weekend!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Labor Day weekend

I am loving/dreading this weekend. I love the fact that we don’t have any serious plans. I’m going to drive out and visit Colleen and drop off Luke on the way to spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa but otherwise the weekend is open. I love that it’s mainly unplanned and open. I am dreading the little guy’s schedule. I am a very lucky mama. Luke is so good almost all the time. (I am probably jinxing myself by writing this.) He hardly ever cries, he sleeps through the night (form maybe 8:30 p.m. to 6:30 a.m.) and he is so dang adorable and wakes up smiling. I love that little guy so much! BUT for some reason his schedule gets a little wonky on the weekend and he gets super cranky. He doesn’t really cry but he does whine. He whines a lot. And I do all of the standard “what does my baby need right now” analyzing. The majority of the time is because he’s tired or cranky. He was fighting a little cold the last two weekends but I’m kind of jealous of the fact that he takes 4 hour naps for Grace during the week but never naps more than an hour at a time with us on the weekends. So that’s the part I don’t love. I love spending time with him. And since I get to work from home on Friday, there’s even more time I’ll see him since I won’t have to commute. And then there’s the bonus day of not working on Monday. So yay for more time with Luke. But please please don’t let him whine the entire time!

Maybe we’ll be able to wrangle a sitter and actually take in a movie. I don’t even know what’s out right now but I do know I miss spending time with my husband. Yeah, we spend time together washing dishes and eating dinner and changing diapers and playing with Luke. By the time Luke falls asleep at night I am zoning out and falling asleep on the couch so I head up to bed since I know I’ll be waking up between 5:00 and 5:30 a.m. plus the recent wake up call I’ve been receiving lately of pesky insomnia keeping me awake for a few hours from 1:00 on. (can you say run on sentence?) I think I’ve got the insomnia thing beat (*fingers crossed*) I am hoping the weather stays nice (no hurricane Earl out here) and we can take a few walks since my knee (which has been bugging me for almost 3 weeks) is almost back to normal. Normal for me is a dull pain and achey pins and needles rather than shooting pain and the knee hyper-extending and giving out on me.

So here’s to walks in the park with my favorite guys (hubby, baby and dog – if my dad were there that would be my 4 fave guys) and sitting outside and reading some books and relaxing LOTS.

In non-weekend news, Luke tried bananas last night and LOVED them. Who wouldn’t? I mean, bananas are the shiznit, right? So bananas for the next few days (which means Grandma gets to give him some) and then avocado for a few days. After that it’s carrots, pears, applesauce, squash and peaches. Once he gets through being introduced to those foods, he’ll be set for us mixing it up and he can have a serving of a fruit, veggie and rice/barley/oat cereal each day. Go baby!

We see his pediatrician on Friday the 10th for his 6 month checkup and see how much he weighs and how tall he is.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Sniffles and tears

Luke had his appointment with the eye specialist yesterday. At his four month appointment with the pediatrician the doctor commented on his eyes possible looking a little crossed and told us to keep on eye on if it looked like it was getting worse. After about a month we did think it looked worse so I scheduled an appointment with the doctor she recommended. My appointment was at 1:20 in the afternoon and after running late because I was waiting for a train and fighting traffic I called ahead to the sitter asking her to have Luke ready in his car seat because I’d be there in 5 minutes. When I got there, she told me he hadn’t eaten since 8:30 that morning because he had a long nap. Oh no! 3 ½ hours ago! I knew he’d be starving but luckily he fell back asleep until we got to the doctor’s office. The doctor was running late and he was hungry but they let me use an exam room so I could feed him in privacy. You’d think that after being fed and burped he’d be satiated and quiet, right? NO! He screamed. He snotted. He threw up. He peed. I changed him. I walked him. I rocked him. I bounced him. I made silly faces at him. I repeated the walking/rocking/silly faces and any other soothing thing I could think of for an hour. I finally went to see an assistant at 2:20. She gave him an exam and drops to dilate his eyes and told us we’d need to wait 30 minutes for them to dilate. He was fussy during the exam and just as fussy (if not more so because of the drops) afterwards. He finally exhausted himself enough to fall asleep for a whopping 10 minutes. And then we waited for the doctor and I rocked and walked and hummed and tried to soothe. We finally saw the doctor who gave me the wonderful news that no, he’s not cross-eyed but yes his tear ducts are blocked. I was instructed to put pressure in the ducts and drain them and irrigate them with saline drops 2-3 times a day. If he still has the blocked tear ducts at 10 months old he recommends doing a procedure to fix it. Luckily when we got back in the car he slept so there was no more screaming baby.

I think he has a slight cold. No fever but some coughing and sneezing and oh, the snot. The snot is so gross. I know I have years of snot ahead of me but it is seriously pretty disgusting.

Silly me thought that I’d have so much time after the doctor’s appointment to run errands, relax and maybe even take a nap. HA! That was a silly idea. I dropped Luke off with the sitter at 5:00 so I could take advantage of an hour and go look at a car I liked. Which was another waste of time. I finally got home at 6:30 and he was cranky – AGAIN. He wouldn’t eat his peas (and I don’t blame him. Have you smelled that stuff? EWWW!) so after more fussing, I put him to bed at 7:30 and he slept through the night. I’m thinking he must be fighting a cold because a) he slept SO much and b) he is such a cranky baby.

Here’s hoping he’s in a better mood this evening and that he eats dinner tonight. I’m going to see if he likes sweet potato. Yummy mashed up sweet potato!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Green beans

We ventured into the world of vegetables last night and let's just say Luke was less than impressed with the experience. I will try again tonight but the green bean puree was not a hit. He's definitely interested in food but I'm not sure what was more disturbing to him - the texture or the taste. He did eat some of it but he also spit out a lot. After I gave up I gave him some rice cereal and it's a lot easier to feed him rice cereal when it's thicker and not so soupy as I what I was previously feeding him.

He melts my heart when I hear him squeeling.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

5 months

Little Baby Luke is now 5 months old. In some ways he is like a completely different baby than the little guy I met in the hospital – and in other ways he is exactly the same. He is becoming so vocal now and last night we had an impromptu concert with Mommy, Daddy and Baby. I’m surprised our dog, Samson, didn’t start howling and join in. Luke does his normal babbling but he really likes the “oooo” sounds. He will giggle just by hearing certain words like “Cookie” and “Poopie” and “Luke” so when we say things like “Cookie Monster” he loses it in a fit of giggles. Or when we ask him if he’s got “Poops in his pants” it is the funniest thing ever. He’s started trying to mimic those sounds and you can almost see his little brain working as he watches us and tries to move his lips and mouth in the same way. He figured it out last night and the three of us were singing/saying “ooooooooooo” in the midst of laughter. I love coming home and seeing him and his laughter is the sweetest sound in the world. I try to get video of him because I absolutely love to hear him.

He’s eating rice cereal and we’ll hopefully introduce him to some veggies soon. The main problem with him eating is by the time I get home from work, he’s usually in the middle of his 3rd nap of the day and when he wakes up he’s usually not very cooperative to eat. It’s kind of hit or miss if he eats at night. Grace has him eating during the day now so at least he will stay in the habit of eating every day. I’m still waiting for him to poop fewer times during the day. That’s one of the disadvantages of breastfeeding. He still poops between 3 – 6 times a day. Oh well.

Luke is a master at rolling now and he can’t stay in one spot in his crib. Thank goodness we have the breathable bumpers around 75% of the crib because he propels himself with such brute force. He also will put himself back to sleep when he wakes up at night unless he’s really really hungry. He usually wakes up around 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. and fusses a little bit. I resist the urge to go get him and within minutes he’s quiet again. It never escalates to a full cry…just some whining.

He has a doctor’s appointment next week with an eye specialist because of amblyopia and strabismus – aka a lazy eye. So we’ll see what the doctor says. It may be easily treated with a patch or maybe eyeglasses or drops. Or maybe it’s so minor that it just needs to be monitored. I’m hoping that treatment now prevents any other issues later in life. My own eye issues (toxoplasmosis and optic neuritis) make me sensitive to any eye problems he may experience and I hope this is the worst of his eye worries.

He is quite the musician and bangs on his toy piano and creates tunes with his little octopus garden toy. I love playing music for him and he loves to be sung to.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Eating!

We started feeding Luke rice cereal on July 14. It's been kind of random because he was still pushing the cereal out with his tongue a lot. We tried a variety of things to make it work such as playing around with the consistency of the cereal, feeding him before, in the middle of or after his bottle and with different times. The end result was pretty consistent - he seemed to push out more food than he was eating and didn't seem to really enjoy this new eating thing. So when he fell asleep before we could feed him, no big deal. He was happy and it saved me a hassle of struggling with an uncooperative baby. Monday night was the worst when he was sleepy and I wanted to feed him before he fell asleep and he was angry messy baby and even though I had a firm grip on his bowl of cereal he somehow managed to spill it all over himself, the chair, the floor and me. (How did a few tablespoons of cereal make such a big mess???)But last night I think he FINALLY got it!!! He is actually letting me put the spoon in his mouth and sucking the cereal off the spoon and barely spitting anything out. He's still figuring out his tongue but this is major progress and I no longer dread feeding him. The winning formula seems to be nursing him, giving him a bath and letting him poop before we feed him.
The only downside to him eating the rice cereal is that for some odd reason when he successfully eats before he goes to sleep it has the opposite effect - he wakes up MORE than if he just has milk. For instance, last night he fell asleep at about 9:30 and then woke up at 11:30 to nurse and then again at 5:00 a.m. Normally (on non-rice cereal nights) he goes to bed between 9:00 - 10:00 and sleeps until 5:30 a.m. Oh well, I guess it's just another thing we're getting sued to and figuring out.
Everything is a learning experience for him and for me. And I make sure to congratulate both of us when we master something. Yay us!
I will continue the rice cereal at night for a week and then we'll add another serving of rice cereal during the day for a week. Then I think we'll be ready to try introducing him to actual food! It will be so exciting to see his reaction as he experiences new textures. Go, baby, go!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Bad at updating

I’ve been bad about making updates. Luke is now 20 weeks old and he’s changing so much. At his 4 month appointment he was just shy of being 14 pounds (which is tiny compared to his buddy, Tommy, who is 3 days older than Luke but weighs in at 18 pounds!) He’s mastered rolling over. Well, he’s mastered rolling from his back to his tummy and whining when he’s stuck on his tummy and can’t roll back yet. The rolling is cute…and really annoying when we’re trying to change his diaper and he thinks it would be more fun to change a diaper while he’s rolling, Guess what? It’s not more fun to change a diaper on a wiggling rolling baby. I also find myself singing the Rawhide song to him all the time, “Rollin rollin rollin get that baby rollin rollin rollin rollin Rawhide!”

Other big changes in the last (wow, I haven’t written anything in over a month) weeks are:
* Drooly drooly baby who acted so fussy that we were sure he was teething was just a phase. No teeth are sprouting. He just went through a really drooly cranky phase.
* He’s sitting up better than before and holds his head like a rock star
* We’ve started feeding him rice cereal and I’m trying to be patient but he hasn’t quite gotten the hang of eating yet. He pushes it out with his tongue and it gets all over (of course) and he makes a huge mess. I’ve tried experimenting with the consistency. Trying it really soupy and a tiny bit thicker but he isn’t progressing much either way. I’ve tried when he’s full and when he’s hungry. So far the only thing I found that absolutely does not work is trying to feed him when he’s tired. He cried and whined and spilled the cereal all over so I tried to give him what he hadn’t spilled and called it a night. I know he’ll get there soon and I’ll look back fondly on the days when I only had to give him a bottle or nurse him to feed him and didn’t have to worry about bringing snacks wherever I go.
* He scooches on his tummy like a little lizard baby and makes little inch worm progress as he kicks his legs like crazy. But he won’t be making much headway until he builds that upper body strength a little more. He can do those mini baby push-ups but maybe I should add some of that weight lifter body bulker stuff to his bottle. Then I can have a pumped up baby.
* He’s much more interested and interactive with his toys now. His current favorites are his Caterpillar (with colors, numbers and music), his creepy Glo Worm doll, his steering wheel, telephone, piano and other miscellaneous baby toys (rattle, teething toys, etc.) He is so cute when he’s playing with the steering wheel because he pushes the buttons and he loves the sounds he makes. He also pounds on his piano like a little baby Mozart.
* He found his feet a few weeks ago and he can often be found lying on his back with both feet in his mouth rocking on his little behind. It’s so dang cute! Sometimes he prefers playing with his feet rather than with any baby toys. And he gets mad when I get him ready for bed and put him in his Sleep Sack which is basically a big baby bag that keeps his feet inside. He’s such a kicker that if I don’t put him in the Sleep Sack his tootsies are freezing.
* He keeps putting weight on his legs and likes to stand when supported
* He is really vocal and makes tons of coos and sweet little baby sounds. We have little conversations when I get home from work and ask him how his day was. He coos his response and giggles and sings. He is so adorable it makes my chest hurt.

Here’s his 4 month picture. I’ll be adding his 5 month picture soon enough!

Monday, June 21, 2010

3 month pictures

Of course I think my little guy is the most photogenic baby around. Which is why when I wasn’t happy with the pictures that JC Penney’s portrait studio took, I requested a do-over. Actually, I wasn’t that high maintenance about it all. What happened is I had an appointment for 10:20 a.m. on Saturday. We were running a little late and I called the studio to let them know we were running 5-10 minutes late and they said they’d move me to 11:20. Ok, even better – that gave us time to stop at McDonald’s for bacon, egg and cheese bagel sandwiches. Yum. By the time we got to the mall and took the stroller out and got inside it was 11:20 on the dot. But we waited…and we waited. There was a huge family in the process of having their picture taken with maybe 5 kids and it was taking forever. When we arrived, Luke was in prime smiling baby mode. No spit-up on his cute outfit with matching hat and he was rested and super smiley. And then we waited. It was really hot in the waiting room (and even hotter in the actual studio where they take the pictures) and he started getting fussy. So I gave him some of his bottle. After 30 minutes of waiting, I asked how much longer it would be and was told it would be VERY SOON. We finally got in there and the good photographer was occupied with the supersize family and we got the teenager who must have this job because she’s on summer vacation. The extent of her engaging the baby to smile was to make some unenthusiastic clicky sounds and call him “stinky” (hey, I gave my child a bath and he does NOT stink!) and I could tell she was not capturing the extreme cuteness my baby possesses. She took about 4 quick photos and then I took his overalls off because I was a well prepared mom and his next outfit was underneath his overalls. We got a total of 2 shots in his owl onesie and then he spit up all over himself (and me) because it was so crazy hot in there and he was now not a happy boy. We did some last shots of him in his diaper and I think the entire time we were having the photos taken was about…oh maybe 7 minutes. She then pulled the pictures up on the computer while the next family was getting pictures done (by the good photographer) and we probably spent more time looking at these pictures than the time spent taking the pictures. I was surprised that the photos I take on my camera at home capture him better than she did. I begrudgingly agreed to buy the cd of the pictures and we left. But the more I thought about it, I really wasn’t happy with the time we had to wait for our session, the way we were rushed through, the inexperience of our photographer and the poor quality of the photos. So I went back to the studio and asked them if we could schedule another photo shoot. We talked to the manager (aka the good photographer) and I wasn’t mad or yelling or anything (Pete was afraid I would go in there making demands and being that kind of person.) and they were very nice and understood my frustration. The store normally opens at 11:00 on Sunday but they opened the store a half hour early to accommodate us and we were the first ones in and even though we woke up to take his picture he was cute and smiley until about the last 5 pictures and then I think he just wanted to go back to sleep and get this thing over with. But the end result of the pictures were phenomenally better and we even got a family portrait of the three of us. Definitely worth it! I’ll post those pictures once I get the cd from them. And then he can win all kinds of cute baby contests because, well, he is an exceptionally cute baby (and I am not biased at all.) He also has good cute baby genes since his daddy’s baby picture stayed on the wall of the photographer’s studio for several years and his grandfather (my dad) won the Cutest Baby in Plymoth, PA award. So of course Luke is going to be a cutesie.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Happy Baby


I think he likes being 3 months old. He is happy almost all the time. I can't believe it. He even wakes up smiling. Smiling Luke DiVerde.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

3 Months Old!

The Little Man (aka Handsy according to Pete) is three months old today! Happy 3 Month Birthday, Luke! I will take his three month picture tonight when I get home and he will be posing in his little onesie in the rocker. I received the custom onesie stickers from Aunt Jane as a shower gift and they are so cute! I pose Luke in the same rocker each month so we can see as he grows. The last two months were a little difficult getting him to sit up-right in the rocker so I could take his picture. He was actually more propped than sitting. I think he’ll have a much easier time sitting today than previous months. I’m sure when I make him sit in the rocker on his 18th birthday he’ll be holding his head up just fine and filling out the rocker quite nicely! Since I was so negligent about updating the blog while on maternity leave, I haven’t added his one month or two month picture. So here they are!




I’m trying not to obsess on baby milestones and whether he’s “on target.” It can become a slippery slope if I keep checking where he is developmentally and I’d rather just be aware of any warning signs of things he should definitely be doing by this age. So far, he’s GREAT! I also want to steer clear of comparing him to how his daycare buddy is doing. Tommy is the little boy (3 whole days older than Luke) who our nanny also watches. Tommy can console himself by putting his hand in his mouth and Luke doesn’t do that. Tommy sleeps better than Luke. I have to put a stop to it right now because as they get older and have more noticeable changes I don’t want to be comparing Luke to Tommy and thinking he’s not developing on target. One of them will roll over before the other one does and it’s ok. It doesn’t make one kid better than the other. (Unless it’s Luke and then of course he only rolled over first because he is the super advanced superior super baby.) Luke did roll from his back to his belly while we were in Virginia but I still think it was a fluke because we were both sitting on the bed and I think the mattress and my big butt kind of helped him out. So I will be comfortable and confident that my baby boy is perfect and developing at just the right pace. He will be doing all the big stuff soon enough and I am content to hold his not quite ready to fully roll over body close to me while he is sleeping. I don’t have to worry about him pushing me away or talking back to me yet.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Nicknames


I think Luke will have an identity crisis…or multiple personality disorder. He has several nicknames from us:

Luke
Lukey
Booger
Boog
Little Man
The Boy
The Kid
Banjo
Baby

And I have no idea what additional nicknames the nanny has for him too.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Back at work

This was the post I started on Monday at work:

“Not too bad

My first day back is quickly drawing to a close. It wasn’t as bad as I thought but I did miss the heck out of that boy! Luckily, I was busy and the day really did fly by. I got about 4 ½ hours of sleep but all of my list making and planning paid off. I made it to work 10 minutes early so I could find the mother’s room at work and settle in. I brought pictures of my lil guy to have at my desk. Before I left for work, I walked the dog (put the baby in the swing and turned on the monitor for Pete to get him if needed), ate breakfast, pumped, showered, got ready, brought my lunch and was on my way. I hope every morning goes as smoothly. Luke spit up as I was changing him but he managed to not get it all over me resulting in an outfit change, so Yay Luke.”

It’s now Wednesday during my lunch and I am grabbing a few minutes to update.

As of Monday night I felt GREAT but tired. This going back to work thing is a piece of cake. No problem once we get the sleep thing figured out. Ha.

As of Tuesday on my way home, I noticed a pregnant woman sitting near me on the train and I felt pangs of…I’m not sure. I was missing Luke so very much at that moment and missing having him with me at all times like when I was pregnant. Don’t worry, I’m not ready to get pregnant again but at least when he was inside me, I knew I was protecting him and he was safe. As much as I trust and love our nanny, it’s not that same sense of knowing he was safe at that exact moment. I’ve been so used to having him with me about 99.9% of the time for the last 12 weeks, it’s a bit of an adjustment to not be able to turn my head and see him there. Yes, I have pictures of him with me at work, but it’s not the same – obviously.

So, yes, I am missing him. I expected I would and its intensity changes throughout the day. Luckily I’ve been really busy at work so I haven’t had tons of time to obsess over him.

At the same time, I feel selfish for being glad that I’m back at work. I was worried that some maternal hormones would make me dread coming to work again and want to be at home with him every minute. I like the normalcy of coming to work. I like knowing a certain series of event will happen in a certain order. I am not afforded that luxury when home with Luke. As he gets older, I’m sure things will be even more unsure of if/when they happen. I like knowing when I get to my desk I can turn on my computer, pour myself a cup of coffee and read my email uninterrupted. I enjoy working on things and the sense of accomplishment I feel. I like hearing from colleagues that I was missed. But I also can’t wait to get out the door at the end of the day.

This week is tough and I need to find a way to get better sleep and get everything done that needs to be done each day. I’m sure we’ll start to develop a routine of what needs to be done each night and what needs to be done each morning. The hard part is sticking with it. I need to make sure I get to work on time – or early so I am able to leave on time every day…to get home to my darling baby boy!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The countdown

12 days until I go back to work
9 days until my first work-related conference call
7 days until I leave for Virginia
2 days until my massage appointment

and approximately 712 things I'd like to finish before I go back to work. It's time to revise and make a more realistic list of what I will finish before going back to work.

I have not taken nearly enough naps during my maternity leave and even now I am so utterly exhausted after being up most of the night with Luke. He's napping right now - has been for the last hour and a half. I tried laying down. I closed my eyes but my mind is racing and I assume I am over tired and/or running on caffeine. I am dreading the possibility that he will keep "sleeping" like this when I go back to work and I will be completely ineffective at my job. He will be waking up soon. I intend to avoid additional caffeine, not plan anything to do outside of the house for the rest of the day and the next time he naps, I hope to be napping right next to him.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Things I will miss


My little guy is only two months old and he's already stopped doing some of the unbelievable cute things he does. I'm afraid if I don't document those oh-so-sweet moments I may not remember them so easily. With my mommy brain, I've been losing everything lately. Can't.Lose.These.Memories.

* When he sneezes and then makes the funniest sound afterward - kind of a combination of an exaggerated sigh and a coo.
* I'm nursing him and he stops and smiles up at me
* His face gets all red when he poops (I hear I will have the pleasure of that one for a while)
* Speaking of poops, I am not looking forward to when they start to smell. really bad
* His crooked little smile (when he looks just like his Daddy)
* His little coos that he has just started
* He doesn't move around much so I can leave him in the middle of the bed and the most he can do is roll onto his side
* We can go out to a restaurant, plant his carseat next to us and enjoy our meal as he falls asleep
* Kicky kicky legs and little fidgety arms as he is trying furiously what to do with them
* When he hears my voice and smiles
* A little bundle of sleep as he naps on my chest
* Snuggling in bed with him in the morning when he's wide awake but I'm not quite ready
* The little face he makes when he doesn't want any more bottle. He purses his lips and shakes his head back and forth..."no more. Full"
* The priceless moment when he was sitting up, crossed his eyes and belched. (then spit up)
* He's grown out of his newborn clothes and size 1 diapers
* The little faces he makes in his sleep. He goes from happy to worried to scared to giggly. I'd love to know what he's thinking
* He stops crying when Daddy or I sing to him
* I will miss being at home with him all day - even though I am also looking forward to going back to work.

Of course there are a million more little moments and I will try oh so hard to remember each and every one.

I love this little guy SO much!

Friday, May 14, 2010

I'm back!

I don't know if there's any interest but I'm trying to finally get back to my blog. It's been a full two months since I've last posted and there's so much I want to write about. The most exciting thing is that last night Luke slept 4 hours, woke up to eat and then slept another 4 hours. I was positive there was something wrong with him because it wasn't his usual wake up every 2 hours...or every hour. Pete reminded me that one night doesn't make a trend but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he does it more often.

My little guy is just amazing. Yeah, he doesn't do much yet. There's a lot of sleeping and pooping and spitting up. He eats too. And....that's about it. Ok, not really. He has been smiling more lately and making those sickeningly sweet adorable cooing sounds. And just this week for the first time he actually grabbed and held on to one of his toys.

To be honest there hasn't been a whole lot to post in the last few months because I forget what it's like to get a full night's sleep. I know, I know...take a nap. But it's the rare day that his nap schedule coincides with when I want to take a nap so I'd say 95% of the time I go napless - and that's ok. He's so little and he doesn't do much but it's so difficult to get anything done around the house. (He's napping right now). If I'm going to do laundry in the basement I take the monitor downstairs with me and he starts crying every time. There are also the fussy days when he just wants to be held and what kind of mother doesn't want to hold her adorable baby? So there are days that Pete gets home and I haven't started dinner yet because the baby kept me from finishing anything. But I am proud of myself that since I came home from the hospital I have taken a shower every_single_day. So, yay me! I've made the bed almost every day and have been able to keep up with housework and laundry. The baby's laundry is insane. I don't know how such a little guy goes through so many clothes. When he was first born it was a contest to who had more outfit changes - him or me. I had every bodily fluid on me from him - blood, pee, poop, spit up. And surprisingly it hasn't grossed me out nearly as much as I thought it would. When he projectile pooped onto my leg I just laughed (and cleaned myself up). When he peed on Pete, it soaked through Pete's shirt and shorts and he had to take a shower. Too funny.

There are so many moments I am a living cliche and I find myself just staring at him and I am amazed I can love this person SO much. I can't think of anything I wouldn't do for him. There are no possessions or human organs that I wouldn't give up for him. Pete and I both make up little songs to sing to him.

So much for finishing this post uninterrupted. Will write more later.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Doctor's appointment and stuff

I haven't posted much lately so I will back up a bit. I had the most relaxing weekend. I was very disappointed that I had to bail on the opera tickets we had for Friday night (Damnation of Faust) which was a Christmas present for Pete and I to take his parents. But I decided to cheer myself up and I got a pregnancy massage that night (something I knew would not be painful and uncomfortable) after work. I managed to stumble home after the massage feeling like a big pile of content jelly. I caught up on tv and went to bed early. Ahhhh.
On Saturday, I slept in and Pete didn't snore (yay!!) and I went to yoga, went grocery shopping, made my dish for the recipe party and took a nap. I woke up gave myself a mini spa day with a manicure and a facial and took my time getting ready. Then headed over to Georgia's for the recipe party where I had a great time. I had planned on leaving at 9:00 but I was enjoying hanging out with everyone so much I didn't actually leave until after 11:00. It was a great time. On Sunday I lounged around and I can't remember the last time I had such a relaxing and lazy weekend that I didn't feel guilty about it. Uncle Curt was also over painting the mural so I got to chat with him and check in on the progress every now and then.
Some of the reasons I was able to relax are because my mom was so recently in town and she got us all caught up on laundry and made food for us. We recently hired a cleaning lady to come every other week so I wasn't obsessing about cleaning at all. I was able to read, watch some tv, cross-stitch and decompress. It felt amazing! I tried to take a nap on Sunday too but was unsuccessful. :(

We had a bit of a scare on Monday night because I had contractions for about 5 hours. They weren't even regular enough to time them but I was getting about 3 an hour for 5 hours. We looked at each other a few times and thought "could this be it?" I did what I normally do when I get Braxton Hicks contractions (put my feet up and drink lots of water) but they continued even when I was sitting on the couch. I did the opposite and tried walking and they still happened. They felt different than what I was used to and I made Pete feel my belly as they were happening. It wasn't just the baby moving around. It was weird. But they stopped and we were relieved.

Since then I haven't had any contractions but I did get a cold. I managed to go the entire winter and not get sick and now that it's nicer weather out and I am almost ready to deliver (and am miserable) I get a cold on top of it. Yay. I asked the doctor what to take and she said Sudafed which I thought was weird because that usually makes me hyper but I took Benadryl yesterday and that didn't do much of anything. I thought it would make me super sleepy like it usually does but it actually made me more awake. Maybe pregnancy gives drugs the opposite effect. We'll see. I'm trying to wait and take the Sudafed when I get home.

The doctor's appointment went well today. Blood pressure is normal and I gained 1 pound in 2 weeks. Belly is measuring right on target and the baby's heartbeat is nice and strong. She did the internal exam and the baby has definitely dropped. It has been easier to breathe lately and the heartburn has gotten so much better so who knows when he dropped. She said it could have been gradual or maybe that's why I had contractions on Monday, because he was dropping even more. She couldn't feel the cervix to see if and how much I was dilated because the baby's big head was dropped so much she didn't want to hurt me by trying to feel the cervix. When I asked her "So, I'm not dilated at all, right?" she wouldn't answer me. But she seemed confident she'd see me next week so that's good news.

I gave Pete an update on the doctor's appointment and we both agree we should get that car seat in the car - just in case. We cleared off the memory card on the camera but I think we will make sure that battery is charged and throw that in the bag.

I am now editing my previous guess of delivering late on April 5 and my new guess is March 20. This way he can share his Auntie Marci's birthday and be a Pisces like his mama.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Getting too big for maternity clothes

I remember when I was trying on some of the borrowed maternity clothes from Georgia thinking I'd never be able to fit into them. Conversely I was so excited to wear maternity jeans that my mom bought me when I was about, oh, 12 weeks along that I wore them with a belly band even though they were too big. NOTHING is too big on me now. Both pairs of maternity jeans are too tight and uncomfortable. Most of my pants are uncomfortable. I have one pair of leggings and two pairs of lounge/sweat pants that are actually comfortable. Otherwise, I feel like a sausage. (Although surprisingly I did find a pair of maternity tights that were not painful so there is an alternative in wearing dresses again).

It's pretty hopeless to try to wear any pre-pregancy clothes any longer. Here is a visual at my last attempt. With the maternity sweater on top, it was fine. It's amazing how I'm willing to compromise comfort to feel semi-presentable in a work environment. These days of working from home have been HEAVEN!



The mural!

Here are some pictures of the fabulous work Uncle Curt did in the baby's room. We love it and can't thank him enough.






Friday, March 5, 2010

OMG - hiccups!

I was just telling Pete the other night that I haven't felt the baby have any hiccups yet. Well, I'm feeling them right now and it is the craziest feeling!! He's definitely head down still. I don't even know how to put it into words. I thought I was done with feeling new things from this little guy once I started feeling those strong kicks but this is crazy!! I can't really do anything to stop them either.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

When will the baby arrive?

They threw me a baby shower at work today and I got even more goodies! I have been so lucky!

One of the things I was looking forward to (other than the yummy cake to eat and the cute diaper cake) is to get people’s guesses on the baby stats.

Here’s a breakdown:
The earliest date guessed is March 24 at 2:00 pm and the latest date is April 10 at 12:30 am. The largest weight is 9 pounds, 2 ounces and the smallest weight is 7 pounds 1 ounce. The smallest length is 16.5” and the longest length is 20.” My favorite combo is the 8 pound, 4 ounce baby that is only 16.5” long – what a short, fat baby!

I personally don’t think this baby will make it until April but we’ll see. Last night I had a bit of a scare. I had a new contraction experience. I’m used to the Braxton Hicks contractions by now and know that I need to drink some water, stop walking and put my feet up and then they stop. They always happen in the same place – the bottom of my uterus and it’s a combination between cramping and contractions. What I felt last night was my whole entire uterus contracting. It was every part of my belly and I had Pete feel my belly and he could feel it getting hard and then releasing. It didn’t hurt but it really freaked me out! It was only a few and the feet up and drinking water seemed to help but it was a bit of a reality check for me that this is probably what labor will begin to feel like. So I kind of know what to look for I guess.

On that note, feel free to take a guess on the size and date of Baby Banjo! I set up a page to track people’s guesses.

http://www.expectnet.com/games/Banjo


Monday, March 1, 2010

Still taking it all in

I had my baby shower yesterday and I am still trying to process it all. It was such a wonderful day – my mother-in-law hosted the shower and had it at a great restaurant and the food was amazing, the tables were great (cutest centerpieces and favors) and there were so many people there. I am so honored that so many people came to wish our baby well and help us get prepared to have everything we need to get started raising him. Georgia took tons of pictures and I will post some later. I am still exhausted (who knew opening presents could make you so tired??!) and I haven’t been sleeping well. I have a feeling I will crash tonight.

Banjo’s been moving around and kicking lots which is a relief since I took a little tumble on my way in yesterday. I can’t blame it on anything or anyone – I just lost my footing and my ankle twisted a little and down I went. I protected my belly with my left hand and used my right hand and knee to brace my fall. I was fine and the baby’s fine (I could feel him moving around when we got inside and all night long) but it scared me. My knee didn’t hurt at all yesterday and my hand hurt some but today they were throbbing. I feel silly. I usually always laugh at myself when I fall (which sadly, is a lot!) but this time I couldn’t laugh because I was so scared. After I got over the shock of what happened I cried and then I was fine. I need to be more careful. I am also going to work from home 2 days a week now so hopefully that will reduce the number of opportunities I can fall.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Excited

I'm looking forwrad to my family coming in to visit this weekend. I'm excited about my baby shower this Sunday. I decided a little pampering was in order so I got a manicure at lunch and threw in a 10 minute chair massage at the end (I don't fit in the normal chairs they use where you lean into the chair so they just did it where I sat for the manicure) It felt great! Too bad I'm not at home continuing with the relazing.

Not much else to write about so I thought I'd share some lyrics to Alien by Lamb:

This was a body
Now it`s a home
For you, my little alien

I feel you moving
It`s oh so strange
Do you like the music

I`m a happy home
What`s it like in there
I`m a happy home
I hope it`s cosy in there

If home`s where the heart is
That`s where you are
My heart is right there
So long I`ve waited to be quite so occupied
Mysterious being by you

And I`m a happy home
What`s it like in there
Yeah I`m a happy home
I hope it`s cosy in there

This was a body
Now it`s a home
For you, my little alien

I feel you moving
It`s oh so strange
Do you like the music

And I`m a happy home
What`s it like in there
Yeah I`m a happy home
I hope it`s cosy in there

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Definitely not dropped

What was I thinking that maybe the baby dropped because I was going to the bathroom more? Ha! It is quite the opposite of dropped - if possible, I think he moved up and has decided that it may be easier to be born by passing by my lungs (and stepping on them some more) and through my throat so I can throw up a giant baby! I am nauseous and not hungry and quite uncomfortable. There isn't really any position I can sit in that doesn't hurt. Well, actually when I lie on my side it's tolerable. I wonder if I can swing that at my cubicle at work. "Yeah, I'm just going to lie on the ground with my laptop. I hope I'm not disturbing anyone" I heard from Rita that is a great place to be.

In other news, I can't wait for my family to get here for the weekend! It's going to be so much fun. I have had insomnia all week and I was able to get caught up last night so hopefully I won't be a cranky beeotch over the weekend.

The house is clean, dinner is being made and I am planning on relaxing tonight before the weekend craziness.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Doctor's appointment

I had my doctor's appointment today and everything looks good. My blood pressure was a little high but they took it again at the end of the appointment and it was normal for me - so no worries. Urine was fine. They did an internal exam and confirmed the baby is head down. I gained a little more weight than I wanted to (6 pounds since my last visit - my goal is 4 pounds a month) but I'm actually surprised I didn't gain more because in the last month I feel HUGE and like nothing fits me anymore. I forgot to ask the doctor if he thinks the baby dropped because there is definitely less pressure in my ribs and lungs so I can breathe better and I have more of an appetite (which may the cause of the extra poundage).

I made my next appointment which is in two weeks and then I have an appointment every week up to April 6 (just in case I guess). Pete thinks I will deliver early and I think I will be a little late/ We'll see. I was hoping the doctor could give me an estimate on the baby's size but he says they really can't predict it accurately and even with ultrasounds at this statge, they are still 15% inaccurate so he chooses to not even speculate. I am guessing Banjo will be about 7 pounds and 3 ounces. That is my completely unscientific guess.

I was kind of annoyed that it took them forever to get my next appointments setup. Usually at the end of an appointment they tell me when I check out which additional appointments to make and how far out. For example, make the next two appointments one month out each one with a doctor and one with a nurse practitioner. Well nobody told me anything the last few times and when the doctor told me today to make appointmnets for two weeks and then every other week the woman who works in patient services was frustrated (not at me but at the situation) because I should have made these apointments sooner and everything was booked. It literally took her about 15 minutes to get everything scheduled and I'm sure I'm double booked and will have to wait but I don't care - as long as I have my appointments scheduled.

I am super tired right now and I would seriously pay someone like $50 right now to let me take an hour nap. But I don't see that happening since I was already gone from work for one hour and fifteen minutes for my appointment and then I ate at my desk. So I can't quite disappear. My insomnia has come back and so far this week I've been getting between 4 1/2 to 5 hours of sleep a night. I'm getting up a lot to pee (which is expected) but then I can't fall back asleep because a) can't get comfortable b) Pete's snoring or c) my mind is racing about something. My family will be in town this weekend so I want to be well rested before they get here so I can enjoy their visit. Tonight I plan on taking a warm bath, drinking some milk and sleeping in another room (to avoid the snoring) so I can get a full uninterupted night's sleep. I will probably go to bed at like 9:00 if possible.

This is a long rambly post and I need to maybe have some chocolate with a little cafeine to get me through this afternoon slump.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Better safe than sorry

I feel a little silly that I made a special trip to the doctor’s office…especially since I already have a doctor’s visit scheduled for this Wednesday. But I was feeling pretty crappy and there were enough weird things that added up to me not feeling too sure about what was going on. I called the nurse to describe how I was feeling and wanted me to come in right away. I probably would have put it off but I felt downright cruddy on Sunday and today. I’ve been getting headaches over the last week (and I haven’t had any headaches during the pregnancy). I would take Tylenol and it would help but not go away 100%. I had seen spots or floaters a few times last week and also had my ears kind of throbbing, ringing. All these things, along with being kind of dizzy and out of it all happened at around the same time and are still continuing. The nurse was worried about high blood pressure and protein in my urine which could be symptoms of pre-e. When I called the nurse at like 9:15 this morning, she wanted me to come in right away and made an appointment for me at 10:00. The good news is that the blood pressure is normal (they took it 3 times) and my urine is normal. They are calling in a prescription for something a little stronger than the Tylenol for my headaches and told me to hydrate and rest. I am so tired of drinking water. But I am being a good girl and drinking tons of water (and sometimes juice to mix it up) plus lots of milk. Believe me, I am hydrated.

I had a good weekend – the Great Expectations class was on Saturday. It wasn’t nearly as boring as I thought it would be. Pete and I were the troublemakers giggling in the corner before class started. Yeah, I’ve read the books before and seen the pictures, but some of the stuff is just funny. I mean, it has to be funny – it’s so far out of the realm of normal to us that we have to laugh about it. She made us all say “perineum” and described how they can tell how many centimeters we’re dilated and how big is 10 cm. (it’s big)! We did some relaxation and Pete gave me a massage. We had a tour of the hospital and saw some videos. Luckily the videos are pretty recent and we weren’t stuck watching something from the 70’s. Oh and the teacher kept using the word “vag” and every time she did it, Pete would tap me which of course made me want to laugh. Couldn’t she say “vagina”? I was half expecting her to say “va-jay-jay.” She was a really good teacher and she used to be a labor and delivery nurse who helped deliver over 4,000 babies. To say she was knowledgeable is an understatement. We got out early and relaxed.

On Sunday I felt so out of it all day. I was very emotional and I can say without a doubt, my nesting has left the building. I was very unmotivated and overall blah. It could also be because I’m back to not sleeping again and that never helps one’s mood. I went to bed last night at around 9:30.

Snow and slush are making this a fabulous Monday and I don’t want to do anything tonight. I’ll probably go to bed early again and try to get out of this funk.